Yorba Linda Counseling, Irvine Psychologist, Anaheim Therapist in Yorba Linda, CA, California - Dr. Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.
Happiness is not a given, it is a creation img

Monday Mindset: Being Whole

Before we can be okay and healthy in a relationship, we first have to be okay in who we are. We cannot get into a relationship expecting another person to save, rescue or fix us. Further, we cannot save or rescue others, no matter how we try. No one can do our personal work for us, and we cannot do the personal work for another. We should never allow another person to put a pressure on us to take care of them, to finance them, or to do things for them, that in all reality, they can/could for themselves and vice versa. Part of being whole and happy is about experiencing the fullness of who we are, and what it means to be who we are when we’re functioning well on our own. It’s a beautiful feeling to be whole all unto ourelves. When we enter relationships with a sense wholeness rather the desperateness, we have so much more to offer to another person. The most important thing our wholeness brings us, is enough independence to not be fearful of our partner’s needs for their individuality and independence. When we are with someone who is not whole, we spend so much time trying to build them up that we sacrifice all that is healthy for us. This never works long term. What works is to hold a mindset that we are responsible for own lives and others responsible for theirs. Our vow should be “I will take care of me for you, and you take care of you for me.” When we can come together in wholeness the love that can be shared will be healthy and remarkable. This is what we all want and deserve.

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Dr. Sherrie Campbell is a licensed counselor, psychologist, and marriage and family therapist in Yorba Linda, CA,
providing counseling and psychotherapy services to residents of Yorba Linda, Irvine, Anaheim, Fullerton and Brea, California.

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